WHY YOUR AUNT CAN'T BE YOUR WEDDING PLANNER


It’s no secret that planning a wedding can be a monumental task. One would think that hiring a professional to plan your big day would be a no-brainer, but this isn’t always the case. Sometimes DIY sounds like a fun project to take on and spending as little money as possible is the name of the game! Friends or family members may sound like a great, cost-effective option; I mean they're offering, so hypothetically why wouldn't you take all of the help that you can get? In the wedding industry - you get what you pay for. Let us explain why having a zero dollar cost planner could have a more negative effect on your big day than you anticipated. FRIENDS AND FAMILY DESERVE TO CELEBRATE. Whether its running the timeline, shopping for caterers, or setting up the tables/chairs/decor, your family and friends should be able to relax and enjoy the day alongside you. When you have that family or friend take on the role of a professional, you are removing them from the celebratory aspect of your wedding and giving them a task that you rely on and is crucial to the operation of your wedding. Carrying the weight of planning ahead of time AND executing an event can be taxing, and holding a relative responsible can be stressful for both parties. Let them enjoy the day, pay the actual money to the someone who you don't feel bad disagreeing with on colors!

ATTENDING A WEDDING AS A GUEST DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE QUALIFIED TO PLAN ONE. There is an art to wedding planning. For someone to actually just show up on the day of to execute your plan without being involved in any of your meetings, emails, or phone calls is an unrealistic expectation. Not only do you have to calculate timelines, directions from multiple vendors, but you have to be discreet about things when guests are present. Behind every successful wedding is a planner fixing a button, lining up bridesmaids for a picture, putting out potential fires, all while keeping an eye on a sentimental mother in law that’s taken comfort in the bottomless mimosa bar. The end goal is to create a seamless flow from the second the guests arrive to the ceremony through the grand exit. It may be a little naive to assume that your friend or family member won’t get caught up in the social aspect. A wedding is a place to catch up, celebrate and mingle! Remember that the wedding planning cousin, aunt or friend may not have the ability to separate their personal life from their new business role of the night - and rightfully so, they shouldn't have to get off the dance floor to cut your cake!

Photography by Wolfheart Weddings

WEDDING PLANNERS ARE THE WEDDING PARTY GUIDES. Shepherding a wedding party is no easy task. Getting 10-30 people to be in the same place, at the same time, and walk the same walk and talk the same talk is no easy task. Getting that group of people together promptly can be much like herding cats, but now imagine those cats are also all inebriated. Fortunately for you, wedding planners excel at this and they do it twice; at your rehearsal and on your wedding day. You’ll be relieved to see that your party is not only in the right place, but they are also on time. They've got their coaching voice on and will successfully send those inebriated cats to the altar for a complete ceremony victory.

NO STRAINED RELATIONSHIPS. The favorite quote we get to use is, "Tell me what you like or don't like, WE get to be the bad guy!" When hiring a family or friend, the relationship almost always gets strained in one way or another. Imagine having a completely different opinion on something than your loved one and having to defend your case or tell them to stop convincing you all of the bridesmaids need pink dresses and flowers. Hiring a professional alleviates this possibility, and you’ll likely end up building a pretty great relationship with your planner! Having someone close to you plan your wedding for free or cheaper than usual leaves someone feeling like they got the short end of the stick. It stops them from celebrating and you likely have to sell them on the decision that has always been up to you and only you.


A WEDDING PLANNER IS TRAINED TO HANDLE EVERY TYPE OF EMERGENCY. Imagine this - you're surprising your guests with a firework show, during your first dance outside. You wake up on your wedding day and the forecast says there will be a tornado.. Yes, a tornado, in Texas, where there has never been a tornado your entire life and it's going to hit right at the time your first dance is scheduled. We ask you to imagine this because it happened to us. ​How would a friend or family member who was executing your timeline handle it? What did we do? We stopped the buffet service when only 125 out of the 250 guests had gone through the buffet. We made the DJ, photographer, and videographers stop eating. We told the bride and groom things are going to move quick, to trust us, but we don't have a second to spare. We had the DJ convince the guests that they needed to leave their hot plate of food to go outside immediately to watch the first dance and hour earlier than anticipated. We had to find every single person who was giving a toast, that we had already prepped to toast, that they are now operating on a delay. Within minutes, we got 250 people out of the reception hall, surprised them with a firework show as the couple danced for the first time. After the fireworks show, we got everyone back inside the reception hall only for sideways rain and hail to start within a matter of minutes. But, on a lesser level of tragedy imagine running out of hairspray, breaking a zipper, losing your bridesmaid, or your bustle breaking. We have seen and conquered it ALL. Your needs will be met before you even have to ask because we have been there. Mistakes are made, and disasters happen, but having a professional in place that is at the center of every aspect of your wedding helps ease any stressful situation that may occur.

DO(N'T) IT YOURSELF!

Sticker shock is a REAL thing and when you don't have a professional to help you with your budget and expectations, they may convince you that fake flowers are cheaper than real flowers. They may convince you that they can make that $800 wedding cake with $50 worth of supplies. In the times of a pandemic, do it yourself catering, cakes, and bartending is a huge no-no. There are so many rules and restrictions that change by the minute and only a licensed professional can stay up to date on each task. You can certainly take on a DIY role during your wedding when it comes to things like making your own signage, perhaps even bridesmaids bouquets, but when it comes to anything bigger than that task - you need the professional and their expertise. Transporting a 40 pound cake for 100 people may sound easy, but it's not. It's also not easy to put together 20 tables, 200 chairs and put linens, decorations, and florals on those within a venue's one hour before the ceremony time limit.

There are plenty of reasons you could come up with to convince your fiancé to hire your bossy best friend or type-A cousin, but it is better to decline that offer now more than ever. You politely decline by telling them that you don't want this to have a negative effect on your relationship or that somebody is gifting you the stress-free experience a planner can promise. Save the headache, the arguments, and stick to the pro's - you won't ever find a person who says they regretted hiring a planner. If you have any questions about planning your big day, shoot us an email at hello@ashleynicoleaffair.com. We’re always happy to help and putting out unexpected fires is what we specialize in!