We’ve all heard of pre-marital counseling but what does that actually mean? We are here to break it down for you to help you decide if it is something you and your fiancé want to explore.
1. You May Not Have a Choice.
Depending on where you’re planning to have your wedding ceremony, you may not have the choice to opt out of pre-marital counseling. Many churches actually require pre-marital counseling in order to get married at their church. Keep this is mind as you decide on your ceremony venue.
2. Should We Do Pre-Marital Counseling?
This is completely up to you except for the circumstance we listed above. Talk to your partner and see how they feel about the idea. Often times, couples use pre-marital counseling as a tool to learn more about one another. It can help build communication, problem-solving and conflict resolution skills and identify any expectations that may be unspoken. Pre-Marital Counseling can help you come to an agreement on how you both want your marriage to go before any potential issues arise after the fact.
3. What is Involved in Pre-Marital Counseling?
You will both have to be willing to commit to the time and effort pre-marital counseling takes. According to Taylor Counseling Group, “You will learn about yourselves as a couple, be made aware of unhealthy habits that easily form if you’re not careful, and discuss topics that may not have naturally come up in your dating relationship. Come ready to discuss communication styles, conflict resolution, marriage expectations, and more.”
4. When Should We Start?
According to Jousline Savra, a licensed marriage and family therapist, “It's best to do premarital counseling either before getting engaged or setting the wedding date,” in her interview with Brides.com. She says 6-9 months of pre-marital counseling can go a long way. We know couples aren’t going to always wait before getting engaged or setting a wedding day. But based on what we’ve been reading, if you’re choosing this route, definitely start sooner rather than later.
5. Are There Any Cons to Pre-Marital Counseling?
Well, it depends on how you look at it. From our research we’ve read a couple things - one con being that you may get negative feedback from loved ones. People will always have an opinion on what they think you should do. Just remember this is your marriage and you are doing what you feel is best for your relationship. Another “con” is that it could bring up problems you didn’t realize you had in your relationship. However, this could be perceived as a good thing, because now you will have the opportunity to work through those problems before the wedding. The last thing would be getting a bad counselor. Sometimes you may not mesh with someone well, or they could just be flat-out unhelpful. If this happens, get out of there quick and find yourself a new counselor that better suits your needs.
6. How Much Does It Cost?
According to the Brides.com article mentioned above, depending on where you live a pre-marital counseling could set you back between $100-$300 per session. Remember that if you choose this route to think of it as an investment in your future together, because that’s exactly what it is!
7. If We Opt Out, Are We Destined to Fail?
Absolutely not! There are tons of couples with successful marriages that never did counseling. As far as we are concerned this choice is up to you!
Photography: Molly Morgan Photography | Caitlin Rose Photo | Monica Danielle Photography |